According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
