three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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