i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
