Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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