i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
