I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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