its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
