Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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