I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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