hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
