Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
