so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
