when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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