So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
