So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
