And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
