I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
