nut hugger
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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