yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize