At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
