Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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