I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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