so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
