Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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