Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
