Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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