RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
