Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
