We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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