pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
