i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
