Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
