No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
