i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You ruined the universe
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
