Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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