"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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