It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
