he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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