Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
