Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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