i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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