you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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