So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
