after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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