Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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