I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
