**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize