and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
