So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is Oprah even human
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
