Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize