She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i out mim tonsoeep
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