do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
