Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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