ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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