you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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