Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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