Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
