Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
