my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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