As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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