God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
