I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the condom got lost in my hair
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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