Too much gin, very little bucket
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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