Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You pole danced in your parka.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
