I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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