I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
