He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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