I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
