I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sext me about skeletons
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
