I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
