Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
