they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
