I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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