Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
