ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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