Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
