No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
