the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
